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Old 10-06-2009, 05:08 PM   #1
DrDRum
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Default What's the craziest thing you've done to get back *AT* an ex?

yeah...you know its not really a parody.
You also know that this thread will surpass the other in posts...

DRum
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Old 10-06-2009, 05:11 PM   #2
brendan_mac
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Married her.
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Old 10-06-2009, 05:12 PM   #3
Qcanfixit
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Santeria
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Old 10-06-2009, 05:12 PM   #4
DrDRum
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Married her.
Boy you taught her.

DRum
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Old 10-06-2009, 05:12 PM   #5
Calebz
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Honestly, I have never done anything to get back at an ex.

Though there were a couple that deserved delivery of a 40lb box of rape wrapped labia skin.
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Old 10-06-2009, 05:13 PM   #6
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Went out and ****ed a bunch of girls that were better looking than her anyway.

I didn't tell her about it, but I sure as hell felt a lot better very shortly.
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Old 10-06-2009, 05:16 PM   #7
gramicci101
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I cost her her kids in her divorce. Turns out she wasn't quite as divorced as she said and her husband was not amused with me.
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Old 10-06-2009, 05:16 PM   #8
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Slept with her best friend, then her mother.
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Old 10-06-2009, 05:17 PM   #9
BhamRoadrunner
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Shaved her cat.

No, not that cat, the furry kind with 4 legs.

Tied a bow around it's neck too.
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Old 10-06-2009, 05:17 PM   #10
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Slept with her best friend, then her mother.
Winner.
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Old 10-06-2009, 05:18 PM   #11
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Went up to her town, spent the weekend with one of her ex-friends that she despised, and "accidently" walked right in front of the window of the bar that I just knew she was going to be at due to some sorority function thing.

Her wide eyes over her sorostitute cup of Franzia as I strutted past the bar with her sworn enemy under my arm were almost as priceless as the 4 drunken voicemails that followed ranging from "What the **** are you doing in my town, and with HER?!" to "Sooo, what are you up to later? Maybe we can meet up at a latenight or something?"

Ah, memories.
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Old 10-06-2009, 05:19 PM   #12
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Put a couple bags of raw birdseed in a spreader and hit her dad's brand new lawn...
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Old 10-06-2009, 05:20 PM   #13
under pressure
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Slept with her best friend, then her mother.


Rock and roll hoochie koo!


o_
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Old 10-06-2009, 05:21 PM   #14
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Texted her "pankcake tits" and thought nothing of it.

Apparently, she went off the deep end and almost got a boob job. I confirmed this through one of her co-workers a few weeks back.
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Old 10-06-2009, 05:26 PM   #15
ZMANNH25rs
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Gave her $400 for an abortion she did not need...oh wait...I think I am doing it wrong
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Old 10-06-2009, 05:28 PM   #16
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Call the cops on her and her new BF while they were having sex in a car behind a movie theater that her and I frequented. We were both underage but he wasn't! Statutory victory for me.
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Old 10-06-2009, 05:30 PM   #17
Qcanfixit
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Slept with her best friend, then her mother.

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Old 10-06-2009, 05:33 PM   #18
DrDRum
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Call the cops on her and her new BF while they were having sex in a car behind a movie theater that her and I frequented. We were both underage but he wasn't! Statutory victory for me.
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Old 10-06-2009, 05:36 PM   #19
Fish
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this is the thread I thought I saw when I saw the other thread.. and then I was disappointed.

I am now appointed.
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Old 10-06-2009, 05:38 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by ZMANNH25rs View Post
Gave her $400 for an abortion she did not need...oh wait...I think I am doing it wrong
Some bitch told me she was pregnant. I mustered $300 for the abortion and I found out she was lying.

Wowsers
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Old 10-06-2009, 05:44 PM   #21
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No, but I do have a contingency plan.

O.K. this is how it goes. You get an orangutan. I'm not talking a little monkey or some some dancing chimp bull****, I mean a ****ing orangutan. Don't ask me how you're gonna get a ****ing orangutan, that's not my problem. So the orangutan's name is Clyde. This is non-negotianable, all orangutans are named Clyde. I don't know why that is, it's just how the world works.

So you and Clyde become man (and ape) about town. You're seen everywhere together, you make the scene. You and friends go out in big groups. You talk loud, you laugh louder. Every time you say something witty you high-five the orangutan. The town begins to buzz. It gets back to her. "Did you know the guy with the orangutan?", "You used to date the guy with the orangutan?", "Why would you break up with a guy with an orangutan?"

Next thing you know she's calling. "I'm hoping we can still be friends. Wanna hang out sometime." "Geez I dunno, me and Clyde were going to go to a monster truck race tonight. (orangutans love monster trucks) In fact the whole social calender seems kinda full. I tell you what, I'll make a little note (what was your name again?) and maybe I can squeeze you in." "Oh, well you know my number so don't be a stra-" "Hey look at the time! I gotta skate, Clyde's making Mojitos'."

At this point the upper hand is yours. You can let her twist in the wind, you can draw her back into you life at the pace you decide. Whatever, it's your life. But if you're a smart man? You slowly phase her back in. You're IM'ng. You're talking on Live. You get invited to family functions. You bring Clyde, he becomes like one of the family. You're one big Brady Bunch.

Then the orangutan ****s her mother.

IBcopypasta

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Old 10-06-2009, 05:44 PM   #22
BhamRoadrunner
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aerostar View Post
Some bitch told me she was pregnant. I mustered $300 for the abortion and I found out she was lying.

Wowsers
ALWAYS have the clinic send you an invoice. That or call you for payment after the treatment.
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Old 10-06-2009, 05:44 PM   #23
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Been waiting for you.
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Old 10-06-2009, 05:50 PM   #24
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Originally Posted by BhamRoadrunner View Post
ALWAYS have the clinic send you an invoice. That or call you for payment after the treatment.
Voice of experience? Is that you?
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Old 10-06-2009, 05:52 PM   #25
ZMANNH25rs
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aerostar View Post
Some bitch told me she was pregnant. I mustered $300 for the abortion and I found out she was lying.

Wowsers
of all the people I had to have this in common with...goddamn minivan...
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