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Old 05-01-2017, 06:39 PM   #1
plunk10
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Forester Weirdest thing a complete stranger has ever said to you?

I was shopping in a hardware store after work and I kept seeing this older woman staring at me. I was in khakis and a polo, my bus boy "uniform", and I said "I don't work here, but can I help you with something?" She said "I'm sorry, you just look like my son. He passed away some years ago." Totally ****ing awkward. I think I said something stupid like "Oh, sorry." She just smiled and went on her way. I ended up in line after her in the check out. I would have avoided it, but she just appeared out of nowhere and I thought it would have been too awkward to just walk away. She started chatting with me about her son, he was a swimmer and went to Europe on a class trip and he was super fantastic and was killed by a drunk driver the night of his graduation. The line was painfully slow, so she was able to go on forever about him. She was super nice and all, but the way she looked at me was too much. Then she asked me "When I leave, would you please say 'Bye, Mom?" I was a teenager and it was super weird and I never would agree to something like that now, but I said I would. She finally stopped talking about him as she was being rung up and I just tried to preoccupy myself with looking at the impulse buy stuff they had at the counter so she wouldn't start up again. As she left she said "Bye, James", which is not my name and I said "Bye, mom" and just felt dirty. Well, the cashier rang up my indoor extension cord and cheapo lightbulb adapter and said "$59.87". I was all, "how are these two things $60?" He said "That includes your mom's stuff too." She totally set me up. I went running after her and the cashier started yelling after me like I was somehow stealing the **** the old lady took. Once outside, I see her scooting quickly to her car and I bolted over there. She's about half into her car as I totally eat **** rounding the bumper and all I can do is grab her leg and pull it just like I'm pulling yours right now.
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Old 05-01-2017, 06:48 PM   #2
johnnyb
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Quote:
Originally Posted by plunk10 View Post
I was shopping in a hardware store after work and I kept seeing this older woman staring at me. I was in khakis and a polo, my bus boy "uniform", and I said "I don't work here, but can I help you with something?" She said "I'm sorry, you just look like my son. He passed away some years ago." Totally ****ing awkward. I think I said something stupid like "Oh, sorry." She just smiled and went on her way. I ended up in line after her in the check out. I would have avoided it, but she just appeared out of nowhere and I thought it would have been too awkward to just walk away. She started chatting with me about her son, he was a swimmer and went to Europe on a class trip and he was super fantastic and was killed by a drunk driver the night of his graduation. The line was painfully slow, so she was able to go on forever about him. She was super nice and all, but the way she looked at me was too much. Then she asked me "When I leave, would you please say 'Bye, Mom?" I was a teenager and it was super weird and I never would agree to something like that now, but I said I would. She finally stopped talking about him as she was being rung up and I just tried to preoccupy myself with looking at the impulse buy stuff they had at the counter so she wouldn't start up again. As she left she said "Bye, James", which is not my name and I said "Bye, mom" and just felt dirty. Well, the cashier rang up my indoor extension cord and cheapo lightbulb adapter and said "$59.87". I was all, "how are these two things $60?" He said "That includes your mom's stuff too." She totally set me up. I went running after her and the cashier started yelling after me like I was somehow stealing the **** the old lady took. Once outside, I see her scooting quickly to her car and I bolted over there. She's about half into her car as I totally eat **** rounding the bumper and all I can do is grab her leg and pull it just like I'm pulling yours right now.
"Did you cum or what?"

That's what your mom said and it was weird.
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Old 05-01-2017, 06:48 PM   #3
fliz
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Old 05-01-2017, 06:49 PM   #4
Hondaslayer
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"I like your hat"


(I wasn't wearing a hat at the time)
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Old 05-01-2017, 06:49 PM   #5
torquemada
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and than?
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Old 05-01-2017, 07:08 PM   #6
aschen
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seems like a lot of stuff has to come together just so for her to pull of that stunt reliably.

WTF did you say bye mom? (EDIT: sorry I can't reedgood, I c now)

story don't make no sence

Last edited by aschen; 05-01-2017 at 07:32 PM.
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Old 05-01-2017, 07:14 PM   #7
under pressure
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Hello, Vietmom!



This thread is terrible.
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Old 05-01-2017, 07:23 PM   #8
07BlueWRX
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Quote:
Originally Posted by plunk10 View Post
I was shopping in a hardware store after work and I kept seeing this older woman staring at me. I was in khakis and a polo, my bus boy "uniform", and I said "I don't work here, but can I help you with something?" She said "I'm sorry, you just look like my son. He passed away some years ago." Totally ****ing awkward. I think I said something stupid like "Oh, sorry." She just smiled and went on her way. I ended up in line after her in the check out. I would have avoided it, but she just appeared out of nowhere and I thought it would have been too awkward to just walk away. She started chatting with me about her son, he was a swimmer and went to Europe on a class trip and he was super fantastic and was killed by a drunk driver the night of his graduation. The line was painfully slow, so she was able to go on forever about him. She was super nice and all, but the way she looked at me was too much. Then she asked me "When I leave, would you please say 'Bye, Mom?" I was a teenager and it was super weird and I never would agree to something like that now, but I said I would. She finally stopped talking about him as she was being rung up and I just tried to preoccupy myself with looking at the impulse buy stuff they had at the counter so she wouldn't start up again. As she left she said "Bye, James", which is not my name and I said "Bye, mom" and just felt dirty. Well, the cashier rang up my indoor extension cord and cheapo lightbulb adapter and said "$59.87". I was all, "how are these two things $60?" He said "That includes your mom's stuff too." She totally set me up. I went running after her and the cashier started yelling after me like I was somehow stealing the **** the old lady took. Once outside, I see her scooting quickly to her car and I bolted over there. She's about half into her car as I totally eat **** rounding the bumper and all I can do is grab her leg and pull it just like I'm pulling yours right now.
This post made me breathe out my nose a little bit harder than I normally would.
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Old 05-01-2017, 07:40 PM   #9
Skylab
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Code:
par·a·graph
ˈperəˌɡraf/
noun
1.
a distinct section of a piece of writing, usually dealing with a single theme and indicated by a new line, indentation, or numbering.
synonyms:section, subdivision, part, subsection, division, portion, segment, passage More
verb
1.
arrange (a piece of writing) in paragraphs.
I hope it's painful for you to read your post.
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Old 05-01-2017, 07:42 PM   #10
VpointVick
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Two separate homeless dudes, about a year apart, asked me how I had broken my nose.

My nose has never been broken, nor does it look like it has.
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Old 05-01-2017, 07:52 PM   #11
tegan_ca
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Had a drag queen tell me I'd look really good as a tranny.
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Old 05-01-2017, 08:00 PM   #12
Hondaslayer
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tegan_ca View Post
Had a drag queen tell me I'd look really good as a tranny.
In his defense, you would.
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Old 05-01-2017, 08:08 PM   #13
VpointVick
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High cheek bones?
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Old 05-01-2017, 08:12 PM   #14
Grap
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I had some old biker skank tell me "I bet you were really good looking when you were younger.".

I just took my drink from the bar, said, "I'm sure you were too.." and walked off.
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Old 05-01-2017, 08:21 PM   #15
Preludicrous
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I was at a stop sign, trying to cross a major road (I was on a smaller side street), waiting for traffic to let up. This big old rape van manages to squeeze between my car and the curb to attempt a right turn. I say out loud in a normal speaking voice "oh great, thanks." Immediately after I hear this gruff old voice yell "**** you! I'll **** you right in the ass you spick(sp?) looking mother****er!" Then the guy yanked out into traffic and took off. I sat there waiting for my chance to cross and feeling very confused. I'm so white, I couldn't understand how he could think I'm anything else.
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Old 05-01-2017, 08:31 PM   #16
Counterfit
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I got called a beaner in Philly.

Because I was wearing a Red Sox hat.

I've also been called the wrong name while wearing a name tag, and asked if I worked somewhere, while wearing the shirt and said name tag from the store we were in.
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Old 05-01-2017, 08:35 PM   #17
tcs007
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ER nurse yesterday told me I had beautiful veins.

"Uh... thanks?"
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Old 05-01-2017, 08:59 PM   #18
Retsyn
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Saturday, went to a paint bar with my wife and daughter. A party of women were leaving when one of them looks at my painting, pauses and then says "I don't like you" and leaves.
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Old 05-01-2017, 09:19 PM   #19
Counterfit
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tcs007 View Post
ER nurse yesterday told me I had beautiful veins.

"Uh... thanks?"
Oh I've gotten that one too, while donating blood.
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Old 05-01-2017, 09:21 PM   #20
fliz
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grap View Post
I had some old biker skank tell me "I bet you were really good looking when you were younger.".

I just took my drink from the bar, said, "I'm sure you were too.." and walked off.
When I went in to get a new drivers license a few years back, the lady behind the counter looked at my old license and said "Wow, you've aged."
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Old 05-01-2017, 09:35 PM   #21
lag
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In fifth grade I was in the library and a girl, I'm assuming, came up to me and said "my penis is bigger than yours". Never saw her before or after that. 25 years later that still takes the cake.

I did have a lady ask me "where is your ass?". I was offended since up until that point I had gotten complements on my fantastically tight buns. But then I realized she was asking where we kept the ice... I worked in a grocery store.
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Old 05-01-2017, 09:40 PM   #22
042
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"She was just going to ask if you wanted to get her pregnant."

From some homeless junkie dude at like 3 AM after his GF started walking towards me in a gas station and before she could say anything I just said "no".

I politely requested he go be homeless somewhere else.
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Old 05-01-2017, 10:34 PM   #23
02fastWRBLUE
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A few years ago in West Chester, PA walking out of Jitters Sports Bar with my GF at the time, Bam Margera and his GF were leaving Saloon 151 across the street when his GF yelled to my GF, "Hey Barbie (she was blonde) Sweet Tits!"

My GF just chuckled.

I miss those tits but the girl was a hoe and I avoided having a kid and being stuck with her, so
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Old 05-01-2017, 10:43 PM   #24
f4phantomii
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If we're counting random drunk people:

Out with friends in college at a restaurant. I head to restroom and a drunk (and almost certainly high) dude emerges from the lone stall. He's obviously just been vomiting in the toilet but proceeds to chat me up like we're old friends.

"See? You don't mind that I'm a black man!"

[me] Nope...don't mind at all.

"Of course not! You're good people!"

He keeps trying to shake my hand with the same hand he keeps wiping the vomit out of his beard. I bid him good evening and he calls after me "Hey, where you go'in?"

A different occasion I'm in a bar with a bunch of my college classmates. The place serves fishbowls of HiC and grain alcohol for $10. Several people had just finished one and I head to the bar to get them another. As I'm standing there waiting, this semi-hot girl turns to me and asks "Do you have a $2 bill?"

As it turned out, I actually did. When I gave it to her (because hey, semi-hot chick) she holds it up and all these other girls around her start cheering, then several of them begin kissing me on the cheeks.

It was a sorority on some sort of scavenger hunt. As I head back to my friends with the next round, they ask me "hey, what was all that noise....and what happened to you?"
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Old 05-01-2017, 10:55 PM   #25
Kinnikuman
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"I'm going to fill you full of holes like swiss cheese!"
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