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Old 06-19-2007, 11:49 AM   #1
kbcr3
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Default My brother is not smrt. His wife is pregnant.

My oldest brother got married last september and he called me on Friday to inform me that his wife is 2 months pregnant.

the problem with this whole situation is their finances. his wife works, but just does stupid part-time jobs. she doesn't really pay into the house's finances. my brother is a sales guy and has had a really bad year. he's been covering 95% of the mortgage and all associated bills. she's just been buying clothing. she's openly said that she just wants to have kids, so she can quit working. she just turned 26.

my brother calls me yesterday and said he's at the local honda dealership looking at a used civic and was getting ready to trade in his CTS (which was also used at the time of purchase).

he complains about her and his finances constantly and has been really stressing prior to this.

my brother and his wife are a walking reason why i'm afraid of marriage.
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:50 AM   #2
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Maybe he's trading the CTS for the Civic to save gas?
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:50 AM   #3
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[bartsimpson]I didn't do it![/bartsimpson]
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:51 AM   #4
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Yeah kids are not a smart idea unless you are financially and mentally prepared.
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:53 AM   #5
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Yeah kids are not a smart idea unless you are financially and mentally prepared.
Thanks for the tip Dr. Phil.
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Old 06-19-2007, 12:01 PM   #6
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Yeah kids are not a smart idea unless you are financially and mentally prepared.
You are never mentally prepared for kids...
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Old 06-19-2007, 12:19 PM   #7
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You are never mentally prepared for kids...

Sooooo true!

While my wife was pregnant one of her co-workers told her "don't worry, children are born with sandwiches under their arms." Which is pretty close to the truth. As long as you're not a worthless parent, you will always find a way to provide for your children.

Trust me, the Navy doesn't pay me isht! And when my daughter was born I wasn't even a petty officer yet. But I have always found ways to assure my daughter is properly cared for.

I don't think that one parent out there will tell you that they were 100% ready and prepared to take care of a child. And if they do, most likely they're lying. It's something you have to experience first hand to understand.
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Old 06-19-2007, 12:52 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by Phatzilla18 View Post
Yeah kids are not a smart idea unless you are financially and mentally prepared.
There's no such thing as a "good time" to have kids. If we all waited to be financially secure and well-off to start having kids, we couldn't have them because we would be 50 and past childbearing age.

Kids force you to really re-evaluate "need" versus "want". Plus, when you have the kids, spending on things like eating out, movies, trips and so on get much smaller, not because you don't have the money to do it, but more because you don't have the time to do it, or your kid is too small to leave with a sitter.

I wondered how we were going to afford a kid, we knew it would work on paper, but her birth really solidified the deal. When you know one's on the way, it can really help you to get your house in order. The good news is that you have literally months to figure stuff out.
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:52 AM   #9
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WAPCE! How can she just be a baby making machine?! She's having kids just so she can stay home? C'mon, I give them 2 years before they are officially divorced. What a selfish &itch. Hope your brother's work picks up.
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:53 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kbcr3 View Post
My oldest brother got married last september and he called me on Friday to inform me that his wife is 2 months pregnant.

the problem with this whole situation is their finances. his wife works, but just does stupid part-time jobs. she doesn't really pay into the house's finances. my brother is a sales guy and has had a really bad year. he's been covering 95% of the mortgage and all associated bills. she's just been buying clothing. she's openly said that she just wants to have kids, so she can quit working. she just turned 26.

my brother calls me yesterday and said he's at the local honda dealership looking at a used civic and was getting ready to trade in his CTS (which was also used at the time of purchase).

he complains about her and his finances constantly and has been really stressing prior to this.

my brother and his wife are a walking reason why i'm afraid of marriage.
See this thread for a similar situation. I too am scared to death of marriage because of these types of situations.
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:54 AM   #11
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I give them 2 years, tops.
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:58 AM   #12
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Similar thing happened to my buddy, he has three kids now and is 24, yeah.
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:59 AM   #13
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live and learn
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Old 06-19-2007, 12:01 PM   #14
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I had a friend that lived with my wife and i while I was in the army tell me he didnt think it was a good idea to have a kid when my wife got pregnant.
That it was too expensive.

Coming fromt he guy who lived in my house..and didnt have a dollar to his name. I was paying 100% of the morgage, food, ect.

I make more than him to this day and I dont even have a job. My wife and I are both fulltime students. and My daughter is just fine!
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Old 06-19-2007, 12:03 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by robbieshonda View Post
I had a friend that lived with my wife and i while I was in the army tell me he didnt think it was a good idea to have a kid when my wife got pregnant.
That it was too expensive.

Coming fromt he guy who lived in my house..and didnt have a dollar to his name. I was paying 100% of the morgage, food, ect.

I make more than him to this day and I dont even have a job. My wife and I are both fulltime students. and My daughter is just fine!
...and you were paying everything for him why?
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Old 06-19-2007, 12:05 PM   #16
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...and you were paying everything for him why?
killer threesomes would be my guess.
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Old 06-19-2007, 12:06 PM   #17
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killer threesomes would be my guess.
IByourdaughterisntyours
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Old 06-19-2007, 12:11 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hockey_78 View Post
You are never mentally prepared for kids...
I second that

Quote:
Originally Posted by X-Factor View Post
...and you were paying everything for him why?

I owned the house he was supposed to stay for a few months untill he could get back on his feet after a divorce...he was in the army aswell.

I already paid for the house anyways he was supposed to help with other bills. So after about 5 months of excusses he was booted.


Just a point. Nobody is ever truely ready for kids. Get the financial stuff in order. But Since Ive been married My wife hasnt worked. and Im a hard worker and daycare would cost more than my wife would probably make working.
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Old 06-19-2007, 12:11 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hockey_78 View Post
You are never mentally prepared for kids...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phatzilla18 View Post
Yeah kids are not a smart idea unless you are financially and mentally prepared.
I disagree. My wife and I waited for nearly 8 yrs after marriage to have kids, and money was a big reason. However, you never have "enough" money, but how much you need is a VERY moving target. Yes, you need the basics: good health benefits, a steady, reliable (not necessarily large) income. The traps come in the form of baby gadgets and toys that it's easy to feel like you "need," but usually don't. To this day, some of the toys my kids love most are leftover birthday party balloons and couch cushions!

As far as mental preparation, the only thing you need to be is ready to commit your time and heart to the child. When both parents decide they are willing to do that, the hard part is over. Sounds like this chick just wants the "perks" of not working, not the kids themselves, and sounds like they're headed down a very treacherous road.
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Old 06-19-2007, 12:22 PM   #20
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As far as mental preparation, the only thing you need to be is ready to commit your time and heart to the child. When both parents decide they are willing to do that, the hard part is over. Sounds like this chick just wants the "perks" of not working, not the kids themselves, and sounds like they're headed down a very treacherous road.
What about getting up with a colicky baby or even for a regular feeding and having to work the next day?

The mental stress that is sometimes associated with kids can't be "prepared" for.

No one will convince me that they are mentally prepared for their first kids. No matter how many books they read or classes they attend...
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Old 06-19-2007, 12:30 PM   #21
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What about getting up with a colicky baby or even for a regular feeding and having to work the next day?

The mental stress that is sometimes associated with kids can't be "prepared" for.

No one will convince me that they are mentally prepared for their first kids. No matter how many books they read or classes they attend...
I never said any of it was easy. There's a very different stress between WAPCE bitches who have to stay up at night with kids they see simply as their meal tickets, and committed parents who are up late at night trying to comfort their babies.
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Old 06-19-2007, 12:06 PM   #22
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This reminds me of a friend of mine. This WAPCE told me that she planned on getting pregnant on the honeymoon so she could quit work when they got back. I said, "having a kid is a lot harder than being a receptionist for 6 hours a day".

Now she has a six month old son and complains that he takes up too much of her movie watching time. Her husband gets up with the baby all night long and works 16 hour days, then comes home to her shoving the kid into his hands and going to bed. I swear they only had sex that one time when they conceived.

She does stuff now like buy an entire new wardrobe when her husband shrinks one of her t-shirts doing laundry. Then complains about how he does the laundry...my point is...this guy is doing the laundry!!! Shut your f-ing mouth!!!

Dude is nuts for marrying her.

Don't be afraid of marriage, but don't marry women like that!!!!
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Old 06-19-2007, 12:08 PM   #23
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This reminds me of a friend of mine. This WAPCE told me that she planned on getting pregnant on the honeymoon so she could quit work when they got back. I said, "having a kid is a lot harder than being a receptionist for 6 hours a day".

Now she has a six month old son and complains that he takes up too much of her movie watching time. Her husband gets up with the baby all night long and works 16 hour days, then comes home to her shoving the kid into his hands and going to bed. I swear they only had sex that one time when they conceived.

She does stuff now like buy an entire new wardrobe when her husband shrinks one of her t-shirts doing laundry. Then complains about how he does the laundry...my point is...this guy is doing the laundry!!! Shut your f-ing mouth!!!

Dude is nuts for marrying her.

Don't be afraid of marriage, but don't marry women like that!!!!
Women like that are not needed.
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Old 06-19-2007, 12:10 PM   #24
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Women like that are not needed.
That's what I always say. What's the point of even having her around?

I call her "waste of skin".
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Old 06-19-2007, 12:10 PM   #25
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Don't be afraid of marriage, but don't marry women like that!!!!
oh but any woman can pretend to be perfect for quite a long time.








atleast long enough to sink the hook.
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