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Old 06-25-2002, 07:16 PM   #1
sweetsuby
Scooby Specialist
 
Member#: 14043
Join Date: Jan 2002
Chapter/Region: MWSOC
Location: mi
Vehicle:
2002 WRX, ForesterXT

Default I've fallen down on the road to to life

soo..i finally am in front of a working computer...i haven't posted in soo long besides today which i ripped it up...

ive kinda fallen out of the scene for a while, i decided, or my mind at least did to take a head first plunge into the mudd of deppression...its now physically taking its toll on me and im really sick, i feel so crappy, but im trying to eat...

alot of has happened to me and ive been kinda bad lately and only a few know...word has even been that i cant have my subie anymore and might have to sell it...
that hasnt made matters better...i "runaway" alot [legally] and i kinda feel guilty to the guys at hodges becasue the reason why my mom hasnt been down to buy the new forester is becasue everything going on with me...
im getting better and mike has been helping me along the way, as well as GOd. well both Gods at that..lol... i think i might actually have a plan and its slowly looking up but about a week ago someone almost ended my life on the iclub by doing somethign very disgusting and evil... im getting over it but my anger will always be there..that night was the worst night of my life, but i kept it to myself, i later decided to open up a little to some help and ive been ok...
i just thought i might let people know so i dont have to explain it so much...

as a side note i was wondering if anyone in the detriot/ lansing wherever area is bizzy thursday afternoon around 2:30-3pm? i need a ride to pontiac and i really am desperate so if anyone can help that woudl be great
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Old 06-26-2002, 12:56 AM   #2
RiftsWRX
Scooby Guru
 
Member#: 6124
Join Date: Apr 2001
Chapter/Region: MWSOC
Location: Glendale Hts, IL, USA
Vehicle:
2000 NFR AP1 S2000
'07 Honda FIT sport (5MT)

Default Re: I've fallen down on the road to to life

Quote:
Originally posted by sweetsuby
soo..i finally am in front of a working computer...i haven't posted in soo long besides today which i ripped it up...

ive kinda fallen out of the scene for a while, i decided, or my mind at least did to take a head first plunge into the mudd of deppression...its now physically taking its toll on me and im really sick, i feel so crappy, but im trying to eat...

alot of has happened to me and ive been kinda bad lately and only a few know...word has even been that i cant have my subie anymore and might have to sell it...
that hasnt made matters better...i "runaway" alot [legally] and i kinda feel guilty to the guys at hodges becasue the reason why my mom hasnt been down to buy the new forester is becasue everything going on with me...
im getting better and mike has been helping me along the way, as well as GOd. well both Gods at that..lol... i think i might actually have a plan and its slowly looking up but about a week ago someone almost ended my life on the iclub by doing somethign very disgusting and evil... im getting over it but my anger will always be there..that night was the worst night of my life, but i kept it to myself, i later decided to open up a little to some help and ive been ok...
i just thought i might let people know so i dont have to explain it so much...

as a side note i was wondering if anyone in the detriot/ lansing wherever area is bizzy thursday afternoon around 2:30-3pm? i need a ride to pontiac and i really am desperate so if anyone can help that woudl be great


Quote:
... soon to be in chicago ...
??? PM me if you'd like.

Jorge (RiftsWRX)
www.ProjectWRX.com
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Old 06-26-2002, 01:03 AM   #3
newscooby
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Member#: 995
Join Date: Feb 2000
Chapter/Region: South East
Location: In an airplane, such is life..
Vehicle:
2000 MkIV GTi&23 LSV
Red cars PWN me

Default

As corny and cheesy as this sounds Alissa, we (those of us who care) are here for you.

Please don't hesitate to contact either myself or Jorge if you ever find yourself at the short end of life. Remember, things can be replaced, lives cannot.

Loosing you would deal a huge blow to the i-club community. I think I speak for most here when I say that we really miss your antics throughout the MWIC and I-club in general.

Keep your chin up and disregard those who have no respect.

In the end, your attitude will prevail.

Take care
Mike
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Old 06-26-2002, 01:14 AM   #4
RallyNavvie
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Chapter/Region: TXIC
Location: Minnesotan in Texas
Vehicle:
2008 Spec B
DGM

Default

Besides, we need more females to keep our crazy testosterone-driven antics in check

You guys have all the fun out in Chicago/Detroit. We have like one Subaru gathering a year here. Be glad you've got some fanatics to hang out with out there.

I know all about coming close to losing a Subaru due to funding. When it got broken into and was inop for 3 months while my insurance kibbitzed about what to do with it I was unemployed and draining cash steadily. Things got close, but I was able to cut other expenses (like food, clothing, air, etc.) and keep the car. It's still a headache sometimes though

Dunno what this whole deal with others on the club is about. I guess I never take anything too seriously that is said on here (even technical advice). Sometimes sarcasm is hard to protray as text on a message board. Sometimes people are just plain stupid. But if you let yourself get hurt then you're letting the person who hurt you prevail. Take away their power over you and dismiss it completely. You're stronger than that.

Good luck!
~Garrett
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Old 06-26-2002, 01:19 AM   #5
Midwayman
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Chapter/Region: MWSOC
Location: Des Plaines, IL
Vehicle:
2006 Acura TL 6spd
STMGM6 alumni

Default Re: I've fallen down on the road to to life

I dont really know what to say...except that I feel for you, and hope you know that I'm pulling for you. For everything to come out okay.
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Old 06-26-2002, 02:23 AM   #6
HndaTch627
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Join Date: May 2001
Chapter/Region: MWSOC
Location: Carol Stream, IL
Vehicle:
'01 GC8 Dinged STM
'09 Concours 14 ABS Black

Default

alissa to make your day brigther hun i have your b-day present, yes it's a month late but thats the fault of a certain manufactuer..give me a call if you get this.

847-863-1115 or e-mail me @ [email protected]
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Old 06-26-2002, 03:01 AM   #7
DoctorNick
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Member#: 7022
Join Date: May 2001
Chapter/Region: MWSOC
Location: Evanston
Vehicle:
2001 Forester
Arcadia green

Default

This might not mean alot to you...but when I am down. I read some quotes I have collected and written over time. Yet I didn't write this one and the writer at this moment has passed my memory. But let me see if I can recal it right.

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.


I don't think this one needs to be explaned. I know we have all felt that once in our lives...
-Neal
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Old 06-26-2002, 06:30 AM   #8
2000vfr800
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Chapter/Region: MWSOC
Location: Livonia, MI
Default

...I tried to reply to your PM, but your mailbox is full.

I'm really sorry, but I am not free on Thursday...

I'll keep trying to PM you.
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Old 06-27-2002, 12:22 AM   #9
blue-sun
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Location: Yorkville, IL
Vehicle:
2021 GTI
Cornflower Blue

Default

as a longtime sufferer of mild chronic depression (and many months of semi-severe deppresion) I can understand what it's like. Although things like Prozac and Zoloft (which i took both of in my really low times), they are a short time fix, they help, but won't solve anything inthe long run. All I can say is to keep your head up. There's always a positive side to life. Find something you really enjoy doing. I went thru about 3 years of counseling @ Catholic Charities. They offer tremendous services for a very inexpensive rate ( i paid $15 a session). I even followed my therapist to his private practive (which now includes a 1 1/2 hr drive thru chicago rush hour and a more expensive charge-100 a pop!) when he left CC.
Let me know if I can do anyhing else for you. . .(beside a warm sweatshirt on a cold day in chi-town. . .)

WRXemALL
david
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Old 06-27-2002, 01:27 AM   #10
Fred Zaplitny
Gone... But not forgotten
 
Member#: 92
Join Date: Jul 1999
Location: East Detroit, Michigan
Vehicle:
1999 2.5RS Coupe
Blueish Kind of

Default

How can you have fallen down on the road to life when you are alive and have a life? Live your life girl. You will be alright. You just need to get through the bad times and get on with the good. Every day is a new day and a new start, don't dwell in the past. Let me let you in on a little secret that I've learned over the years: Bad experiences that you get through will make you stronger because you will not only know how to get through them, but know how to avoid making the same decisions that got you there. Everyday is a new experience, learn from it good or bad. So now you just have to get through this bad time, a positive attitude would be a good start. Put the past behind you and get a fresh start to tomorrow. Keep your chin up girl, you will be alright.
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Old 06-27-2002, 09:08 AM   #11
Rattler
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Member#: 6351
Join Date: May 2001
Chapter/Region: MWSOC
Location: South Of Heaven, North Of Hell
Vehicle:
2004 Tacoma 2xCab
\m/ \m/

Default

I say Fred hit it on the head. Every morning you can get up, walk and talk is a good day. Just try and do something that day to make it better than the last. Or even make someone else's day good. Sounds kinda corny but it works.
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Old 06-27-2002, 09:32 AM   #12
kensington
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Member#: 9113
Join Date: Aug 2001
Chapter/Region: MWSOC
Location: Clarkston, MI.
Vehicle:
2k4 WRB STi
RIP#92 Fred"G-Money"Zippy

Default

G-Money is now a Zen Master

Listen to the Master Alissa, he has the answer

What doesen't kill you only makes you stronger (just don't let anything kill you )
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Old 06-27-2002, 11:18 PM   #13
Hondaslayer
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Join Date: Feb 2001
Chapter/Region: NWIC
Location: Auburn, WA
Vehicle:
2014 Electric Datsun
2005 Adventure van

Default

Well at least Fred didnt say how you doin? Lissa your moms car is safe and sound in our spare building.
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Old 06-28-2002, 09:08 AM   #14
metroplanner
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Member#: 6310
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Ann Arbor, MI, USA
Default Bummer!

Geesh, 'lissa. I have not been around the i-club for a while and I am really bummed that you are having a rough time. Seems like I know your mom well, I only talked to her on the phone like 100 times when we had all that trouble with the release from SOA. Too bad that an i-clubber has been giving you problems, not that I know any details, but that really blows. There are a lot of good guys and gals out here on this club, but it really has "evolved" into wayyy more than just a discussion club for cars, ya know? Anyway, you know where I live, I am staying there another year at the same house in A2. (though I moved downstairs) Just got engaged to Moira and we will be around 'til we get hitched next summer, so if you ever need anything in a pinch, I am just a few miles away..just remember to look for the biggest red GMC pickup in the City of Ann Arbor outside my door where a silver subie once sat! Hope things pick up, we are pulling for you-

M E T R O P L A N N E R
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Old 06-28-2002, 08:20 PM   #15
downshift1
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Chapter/Region: MWSOC
Location: Somewhere out there
Vehicle:
I'm not the type
to make angry

Default


Just remember one thing it could be worse, you could be getting shot at...

J/K!

It's never to late to do the right thing....
I'm living proof.
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Old 06-28-2002, 09:10 PM   #16
Mr.Freeze
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Member#: 12692
Join Date: Nov 2001
Chapter/Region: MWSOC
Location: ...now i think i'm ready, to
Vehicle:
bust a move check it
out i'm rockin' steady

Default

Alyssa,
Sorry to hear all the troubles you're going through...while the circumstances prolly aren't the same, I can relate to your depression. There was a year long stretch in my life when I thought that life couldn't get any better, but you know what - it did. No matter how bad you think you may have it there will always be someone who has it worse. As long as you've got your health and support from your friends (like you do here) I can't imagine you staying "down in the dumps" too long. The way I look at it now is that a person can't truly experience and enjoy success and happiness without hitting rock bottom first. Life's more than from getting point a to b...there's gravel and dirt roads, mixed in with some highways and mountain side twisties. It builds character and in the end your a better person for experiencing them. I'm sure anyone here (including myself) wouldn't hesitate to help you out if you asked for it.

Nirmit
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Old 06-28-2002, 09:37 PM   #17
Rattler
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Member#: 6351
Join Date: May 2001
Chapter/Region: MWSOC
Location: South Of Heaven, North Of Hell
Vehicle:
2004 Tacoma 2xCab
\m/ \m/

Default

I was told "All things happen for a reason". Granted I can think of quite a few in my life I would like to know why and maybe someday I will find out why but until then I just deal with it and move on.

I would recommend printing out Fred's words of wisdom and carrying them with you. When you get angry/bored/upset or whatever makes you think of what is bugging you, read through them a few times. I like to watch movies that make me think about things too. I could probably put a big list of them up! It may not work for everyone but it doers for me. It takes my mind off from the problems.

I am going through some problems to a degree. I told a friend fo mine that moved away about them and I got a very encouraging email from him and his wife. Not that they are big problems but its nice to know I have people that are willing to listen.
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Old 06-28-2002, 10:47 PM   #18
obyone
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Member#: 16523
Join Date: Mar 2002
Chapter/Region: MWSOC
Location: Anti-Russian Aggression Zone
Default

Quote:
Originally posted by downshift1

Just remember one thing it could be worse, you could be getting shot at...

J/K!

It's never to late to do the right thing....
I'm living proof.
Or you could be in a realationship where, everyday of your life, you wish you would be shot at.

But remember....Just when you think that life can't get any worse, it does. But also remember, it doesn't rain everywhere all the time. So just because you're having some really terrible luck - in whatever it is you're having bad luck with - making a change, no matter how small, can make all the difference.

I don't know if I'm making any sense but I hope this helped.
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Old 06-28-2002, 10:56 PM   #19
Fred Zaplitny
Gone... But not forgotten
 
Member#: 92
Join Date: Jul 1999
Location: East Detroit, Michigan
Vehicle:
1999 2.5RS Coupe
Blueish Kind of

Default

Quote:
Originally posted by Rattler
I would recommend printing out Fred's words of wisdom and carrying them with you.
Damn, I never though anything I posted on I-Club would be deemed inspirational!

ps. don't forget to laminate it!
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Old 06-28-2002, 11:51 PM   #20
obyone
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Chapter/Region: MWSOC
Location: Anti-Russian Aggression Zone
Default

Quote:
Originally posted by Fred Zaplitny


Damn, I never though anything I posted on I-Club would be deemed inspirational!

ps. don't forget to laminate it!
Yeah, now that I paid attention while reading it it's really not bad. Pretty good actually. But you forgot to mention one thing that gets most women in a good mood again.
"In Chicago, men outnumber women 3 to 1."
That usually cheers up my friend Nina. Kinda puts me on a downer though.
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Old 06-28-2002, 11:54 PM   #21
Fred Zaplitny
Gone... But not forgotten
 
Member#: 92
Join Date: Jul 1999
Location: East Detroit, Michigan
Vehicle:
1999 2.5RS Coupe
Blueish Kind of

Default

Quote:
Originally posted by obyone


Yeah, now that I paid attention while reading it it's really not bad. Pretty good actually. But you forgot to mention one thing that gets most women in a good mood again.
"In Chicago, men outnumber women 3 to 1."
That usually cheers up my friend Nina. Kinda puts me on a downer though.
Hmmmm, so I'll never go to Chicago any time soon.

Chicago: Come join the swordfest!



Edit: how about this slogan:

Chicago, where the women can afford to be picky and the men are better off gay!
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Old 06-29-2002, 03:36 PM   #22
Subi Ru
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Member#: 7848
Join Date: Jun 2001
Chapter/Region: MWSOC
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Vehicle:
2002 TS
Sassy girls wear Red!

Default

Hey 'lissa - I know this is a bit belated, but hope it finds you a bit better...

^^^^^^ They all are right (wow! who knew such wisdom would come from Fred!?) I think many of us have been in your situation before. Here's my $.02:

I wish I could say that it all gets better from here - but it probably won't. Sometimes things have to get worse before they get better. You'll always have situations and people that will come and poop on things just when they are going your way. The secret is to KEEP MOVING!
I, too, suffer from chronic mild (and occasionally acute) depression - since I was a child so I can relate. I have been a staunch disbeliever in drugs - they are a temporary fix to bigger problems. If they help - great - do it for the short term - but don't loose sight of the fact that ONLY YOU can fix what's broken, ONLY YOU can change what needs to be changed, and ONLY YOU can carve your path in life.
Depression can paralyze you, make you loose sight of everything around you. I have found that when I am depressed I shut down and will stay down if I let myself. The best thing I have found is to GET MOVING! Somewhere, anywhere, DO anything! Get up, get out of the house. Take yourself to a place where you can rediscover the little things in life. I like to go to the local botanical gardens for a walk - and take time to really look at flowers, trees, rocks - the little things that are the most amazing wonders of beauty and creation. I go to the beach on the lake and find myself a really beautiful beach pebble, worn smooth by time and waves, and carry it in my pocket to remind me of the little things in the world that bring me joy. I go stomping around downtown, amid the bustle of the city to take in the sights, sounds and watch the people. Sometimes I take my digicam to capture the things I see. In the city I can be surrounded by people, but alone with my thoughts.
Sometimes getting moving is doing the things I don't want to do but know I have too - like get up and get showered and dressed in the morning, getting to work on a big project, cleaning up my desk, or mowing my lawn. But it keeps me going and helps clear my mind so I can see past the depression.
My early twenties were a tough time too - they still are. There are one or two pivotal places where something (bad, unfortunate) came along and totally changed my life. But had it not happened I would never have ended up where I am - happily married, owning my own home, running my own business doing what I LOVE, and most of all I would have probably continued, blindly, on the path I had been on and never would have found my true self. Your twenties are your time to discover and learn to appreciate who you really ARE - not what your parents want to you to be, or who you have been pretending to be to others.

All that you are going through is part of a bigger cosmic plan. The pain you are experiencing must be experienced, because it is this conflict that will often reveal to us our higher selves. Your pain is "growing pains" and when they are done, you will truly know yourself and can be comfortable and confident in who you are. Once you know and love who you truly are, nothing can keep you down.

Situations in life sometimes suck, but know that eventually

THIS TOO SHALL PASS.

Until then...... keep moving.

Peace and comfort to you,
Michelle
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Old 06-29-2002, 07:09 PM   #23
Rattler
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Member#: 6351
Join Date: May 2001
Chapter/Region: MWSOC
Location: South Of Heaven, North Of Hell
Vehicle:
2004 Tacoma 2xCab
\m/ \m/

Default

Quote:
You'll always have situations and people that will come and poop on things just when they are going your way.
Sounds like Triump The Insulting Dog paid you a visit! If you don't know what I am talking about, try www.ifilm.com It is hilarious!

Check it out sweetsuby. You should get a good laugh out of it to take your mind off from things for a bit!
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Old 06-30-2002, 09:47 PM   #24
midlifecrisis
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Member#: 3958
Join Date: Feb 2001
Chapter/Region: MWSOC
Location: Minnesota
Vehicle:
2008 Impreza STi
+ '93 & '98 Impreza L(s)

Default

Sweetsuby,

I don't know you and you don't know me. However, I feel as if I (and many others on the midwest forum) have benefited from your presence. From your posts and your friends' posts (I peeked - sorry ) it is clear that you have moved and motivated many i-clubbers in your local area. Even more impressive, your energy and excitement kept bringing people who don't even know you (like me and RallieNavvie) back to your posts. You have touched and continue to touch people in very positive ways. You need to understand that our little world has been improved because you are in it! Stay as positive as you can and focus on moving forward, not on what's behind. There are way too many people who can and will remind you of your mistakes - you need to focus on your successes or your future successes.

Seeing all of these responses should be considered a big success for you. Hang tough.

Paul
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Old 07-01-2002, 09:48 AM   #25
sweetsuby
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Member#: 14043
Join Date: Jan 2002
Chapter/Region: MWSOC
Location: mi
Vehicle:
2002 WRX, ForesterXT

Default

wow..i cry reading this...just know you all saved a life in terms of even a lost heart...

so BIG pat on the back,
you are all i have sometimes and i know it sounds weird but i have nothing left in Mi sometimes i think because my mom has harassed so many of my friends they wont talk to me anymore...so i come here..

one thing i have notcied is my degree of bad health since all this has been going on, even my long hair is thinning, im watching my body fall apart..and there all signs of stress...i run to chicago and im not running becaseu of mike or whatever else, im running becasue i can breath there, i can walk into a store and not worry that my mom isnt gonna allow me to wear this or that, i finally reunited with my aunt and 2 cousins that i am not allowed to se because of my mom, after 10 years, it was weird sitting there with mike and seeing this stranger call me his neice, i have been raised completely disowned from any relative, forcing me to only surcome to my mother becasue there is no other way. i have a freedom in choices and who i am here...i love myself here..if you havent noticed im sitting on mikes computer in chicago as im typing i have a 1:15 train to annarbor and its 8;30 right now, i feel sick and i dont want to go home, hes at work, alot of people who know me say they think ill never make it on my own, and maybe thats true, but i have a fighting spirit and im learning as much as i can as fast as i can about how to get out, i hate hereing disbelief and frustrated people, people who yet have to see what i showed jorge on thursday...i guess he was happy to see mee. im trying really hard, and im so happy i have a lot of support and alot of you have opened up the way you did, thank you for showing me i effect you all, thankyou you sooo much, BIG HUGZ**** BIG BIG HUGS***

ps> i forgive sherif for being as bitter as he is, and all he says on IRC...i understand he's really hurt...and im glad to know even tho alot of the chicago people were "warned" that they didnt listen..it's nice to know you have your heads out of the drama pool..thanks for that...

pss> im not taking the meds, ive been a alternative medicine hopper since i was a baby and was nevereven fed a advil or whatever you take..i get here as much as i can, i mountain bike and run, and take my lunches on the new playground at work, i swing so high i pretend im in the clouds, i drive with all the wondows down in my subie and i wear my hair down alot more, [mostly due to its recent thinness] i always know i can crash at GOds and take a BIG BUBBLE BATH IN HIS MONSTOR TUB...god has it all..and hes NEVER home so i can rip through the place whenever i want..heehee...
ok im gonna clean up and hang mikes underwear on all the ceiling fans so he knows what hes missing when i leave....

ps> im never sure its a good idea if you leave me alone in your room when your not here ....
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