01 forester crossmember help

[fest]

So last night and today I "notched" the hell out of my crossmember but the uppipe still won't bolt to the manifold properly and ive grinded the head down quite a bit too.

its a ebay wrx manifold/uppipe and the fitment just seems impossible lol.
the manifold's flange is in such a ****ty location. I feel like I'm in such a ****ty situation right now I feel lost and stuck. I can't find any info anywhere about the sf5 chassis I don't know what turbo crossmembers will fit and it just seems impossible to even source one.

https://i.imgur.com/pQ7ZQDp.jpg

I realize I can probably torch the uppipe and somehow bend it to make it work but my crossmember is still chewed I'm surprised it's even holding with how much I cut out.

https://i.imgur.com/OGSoOPr.jpg

if I bolt the uppipe and manifold together then I can't get the manifold to bolt to the head on the passenger side.

https://i.imgur.com/PbwYB13.jpg

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[SoCoNoHa]

I often read about users needing multiple prybars and hammers and assistance from additional hands. eBay headers can be pretty bad, like they eyed it instead of used a jig.