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Old 06-19-2007, 11:02 AM   #1
jcholak718
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OMGHi2U Tragic Day - Friend is Engaged

I got a text message from my friend last night informing me that he's now engaged. This does not come as a surprise, as he's been talking about getting engaged for some time now. There are several problems with the situation:

1. Friend is unemployed
2. Friend is not looking for work
3. Friend is supported by parentals
4. Friend's father paid for bulk of engagement ring
5. Friend's fiance has never worked a day in her life and is still in graduate school


Overall, it's not the ideal starting point from which to enter marriage - our group of friends has counseled this guy for months about how he needs to wait, how he needs to be financially stable and how he needs to see how this girl is going to survive in the real world of employment. All warnings have gone unheeded. I'm sure people here in OT have experienced something similar - as my friends and I will undoubtedly be a part of the wedding process, any advice on how to remain positive despite our serious reservations?


C/N: Friend is getting married and shouldn't be for of a variety of reasons, need advice on positive reinforcement of a bad idea.
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Last edited by jcholak718; 06-19-2007 at 11:07 AM. Reason: Noun/verb agreement
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:09 AM   #2
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Oh I forgot to add that my friend's been obsessed with the idea of having not one, but multiple children.
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:12 AM   #3
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Good grief, I hope they don't start pro-creating anytime soon. That's just a recipe for disaster.

Why don't you try to talk to him about the joys of a long-term engagement...and priorities. Such as having a job to support a wife in school.
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:12 AM   #4
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Can I be the first to say TTIWWOP of Fiance.
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:12 AM   #5
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Quote:
1. Friend is unemployed
2. Friend is not looking for work
3. Friend is supported by parentals
4. Friend's father paid for bulk of engagement ring
5. Friend's fiance has never worked a day in her life and is still in graduate school

this will not end well.
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:13 AM   #6
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Kick him in the nuts so he cant breed, then let him be.
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:14 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spitfire999 View Post
Can I be the first to say TTIWWOP of Fiance.
You can - however there will be no TTIWWOP; despite my reservations I will not disrespect my friend's fiance for OT's fapping pleasure
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:14 AM   #8
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sounds like an episode of MTV's "Engaged and Underage". you should get them on the show.
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:15 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2-imprez-u View Post
Good grief, I hope they don't start pro-creating anytime soon. That's just a recipe for disaster.

Why don't you try to talk to him about the joys of a long-term engagement...and priorities. Such as having a job to support a wife in school.
Been and done - I spent three weeks in Europe with the kid and I tried to talk him out of it every single day. His mind was made up, and I'm convinced that there's nothing that I can say/do (short of banging his fiance and thus ending the engagement) that will change the situation.

As for the engagement, I'm sure it won't be longer than a year.
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:16 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nate.the.great View Post
sounds like an episode of MTV's "Engaged and Underage". you should get them on the show.
It does, unfortunately they're 25.
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:20 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jcholak718 View Post
I got a text message from my friend last night informing me that he's now engaged.
God rest his soul
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:21 AM   #12
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Have as many children as humanly possible, then reap the benefits of welfare.
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:22 AM   #13
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Fortunately, it doesn't require money, or financial stability, to have a GREAT marriage...

Sure, money and stability makes life easy for everybody, but that's not what keeps people together.
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:22 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jcholak718 View Post
Oh I forgot to add that my friend's been obsessed with the idea of having not one, but multiple children.
Oh, lovely.

This will go swimmingly.
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:22 AM   #15
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So he's not looking for a job and is still living under the protection of mommy and daddy's roof and money?

And she's probably rich and is in grad school.

Sounds like he hopes she'll be his meal ticket once she graduates. 25 and doesnt even support himself? Sounds like he's a mooch.
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:24 AM   #16
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Sounds like when I got married... we were both 25 --
- I was about to leave my job to go to law school
- My wife-to-be was working but would have to leave her job to follow me to school and look for a new job (she eventually found one - but we lived cheaply on student loans for awhile).

7 years later --> we're doing just fine.
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:25 AM   #17
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On a serious note - any tips on how I can remain positive and support his final, albeit idiotic, decision? I'm the kind of person that says whatever is on my mind, but there's going to come a point in time when that's counterproductive in this situation.
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:27 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jcholak718 View Post
On a serious note - any tips on how I can remain positive and support his final, albeit idiotic, decision?
Show him how to use Monster.com, maybe
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:31 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jpicheva View Post
Sounds like when I got married... we were both 25 --
- I was about to leave my job to go to law school
- My wife-to-be was working but would have to leave her job to follow me to school and look for a new job (she eventually found one - but we lived cheaply on student loans for awhile).

7 years later --> we're doing just fine.
I'm calling apples/oranges here - you sound like you were motivated and had a plan, not to mention potential future earnings. You and your wife seemed to have an understanding of the hardships the both of you were going to face and had prepared accordingly. My friend has no such earnings potential and the two of them are not very forward-thinking.

Quote:
Originally Posted by chkltcow View Post
Show him how to use Monster.com, maybe
He's blatantly stated that he's not looking for work because he likes his situation. I told him that I thought he was an embarrassment and that it's frustrating to know that my tax dollars are being used to support his imbecilic lifestyle.
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:40 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jcholak718 View Post
He's blatantly stated that he's not looking for work because he likes his situation. I told him that I thought he was an embarrassment and that it's frustrating to know that my tax dollars are being used to support his imbecilic lifestyle.
Show him how to point a pistol towards his head and operate the trigger, maybe?
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:42 AM   #21
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Well, at least I'll get to plan a bachelor party and I'll be able to convince him to have an open bar at the reception.
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:48 AM   #22
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Because I'm just curious...i must ask...
Is this guy or the girl from a family so rich that neither of them would have to work to support themselves?
I mean... then, it would be more understandable..... (somewhat) of his situation... or the lack of motivation...
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:50 AM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wifey View Post
Because I'm just curious...i must ask...
Is this guy or the girl from a family so rich that neither of them would have to work to support themselves?
I mean... then, it would be more understandable..... (somewhat) of his situation... or the lack of motivation...
My friend's family is middle-class and from what I understand the fiance's family is as well.

The problem stems from the fact that he's an only child and she's the only girl, so the level of parental support they receive is much higher than what I would consider normal.
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:57 AM   #24
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Help with the wedding, plan the bachelor party, and keep a good bottle of booze on hand for when she figures out that he's worthless and dumps his ass for someone with money.

There is nothing you can do when his parents are encouraging stupid ass decisions.
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Old 06-19-2007, 12:11 PM   #25
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tittywop of bride to be or it didn't happen
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