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Old 11-04-2013, 03:39 PM   #1
Tweeter
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Member#: 162238
Join Date: Oct 2007
Chapter/Region: RMIC
Location: Louisville, CO
Default Do you guys know that feel when no girlfriend? v.feelz

The saga rages on.


Guide to Common Issues:

Quote:
1. Self confidence/self doubt:
We've all dealt with it, and we've all struggled with it. It's always going to be there, so you might as well learn how to embrace it and know how to use the correct tools to improve self doubt. Stop worrying about what other people think of you or if you're "good enough" for somebody. There are no "leagues" in the dating world, it is simply a matter of compatability. We are all just regular people in an imperfect world. Even though everyone isn't perfect and we all have our flaws, it's about trying to find the perfect person for you to make the world seem less imperfect.

Do what makes you happy, and if you don't know what makes you happy, get out there and find out. Live your life for you and be selfish (to a degree) until you no longer have a reason not to be. There's no need to get down on yourself for your flaws. They are going to be there. Learn to laugh at yourself, and take things a little less seriously. Take note of 1 or 2 things you want to improve on, and go do it. If you don't change anything you are doing, you are never going to change and you're always going to be that insecure guy who is too worried or scared to do anything in fear of what other people think.

It is a certain frame of mind, and takes some time to get there. But the point is, be yourself. When you become happy in your own skin life is a lot easier in general. The problem a lot of guys have is they want to be "that perfect guy" for a girl they just met or saw at the grocery store of what have you. You're destined to fail if you keep doing this. The more time you spend with someone the more comfortable you get. The more comfortable you get, the less worried you are about being yourself. The point is learn to be happy being you, know who you are, don't change who you are for anyone, and you will find someone who likes you for the real you.

How to stop self doubt:

1a. How to get rid of self doubt with Elliot:
How to destroy self doubt - YouTube

1b. How to stop comparing yourself to others:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4Ko32D5ALw


How to gain confidence and understand yourself:

1c. How to not care what others think:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuGIAe6ENuE

1d. How to be yourself/understand how you are percevied:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWLRbj4YVRY

These 2 videos are a little more "out there" so just listen to the audio and don't watch the video if you can't handle Mr. Yang. I'm not a crazy person I promise, the 2nd video just touches on the dual realities I'll talk about later in this article.


2. Don't let today's dreams be tomorrow's regrets:
That's actually one of my favorite quotes, and I have no idea who said it, but it's true. We've all woken up the next day kicking ourselves in the ass because we were too chicken to ask that girl/guy to dance, get her/his number, or even talk to her/him.

Take every shot you get. The worst thing that will happen is she will say, "No". That's it. One word. If you want to know who is responsible for not doing this more often, go look in a mirror.


3. Balance:
Don't let your job, schooling, or any external factor dictate how you live your life. Make time for yourself, friends, family, and go out and do fun/crazy things. The last thing you'll wish you did more of on your death bed was work more overtime.


4. Drive:
Dating is exhausting. There's no way around it. It's a lot of work, and so are relationships. Until you've dealt with your self confidence issues, you should hold off being in a relationship which will only stunt your growth as a person even more. The only thing stopping you from doing whatever you want is yourself. You can't control the actions of other people, just yours. So who gives a **** what they think/do? Dwelling on the thoughts/actions of others is a waste of time since it's out of your control.

Be grateful for your health, both physical and mental. There are people born with physical and mental disabilities. Have you ever taken a moment to consider what life would be like being in a wheelchair, deaf, blind, or mute? Yet we see people with these issues daily, and they usually have a huge smile on their face. If they can find a way to be happy about life, then what's your excuse for not being happy?


5. "Game":

This is the most important part, and it is going to be a lengthy read, but, I promise it will be worth it. I am going to break down the what, why, and how to talk to women.

Let's start at the beginning and go from there. You meet/see an attractive person and you want to talk to them, but you don't know what to say. You start asking yourself if you should talk to her about the book she's reading, if her haircut is new, or if she knows what time it is? Let me stop you there, and let you know it does NOT matter WHAT you say to her, it is HOW you say it. What does that mean? Well remember those stupid pickup lines that you all enjoyed using and getting results with? Did you ever stop and wonder WHY those worked? Probably not. Now I'm going to reveal the method behind the madness so get your popcorn and strap in.

So you've started the convo and sent her some sort of line to get her attention. Fantastic. So now we have a series of events about to unfold between 2 different parties involved. You and them. Now a lot of you reacted to the trolling of the "Tit Offensive" as "Is this real life?!". What is real life? It's simply how we perceive reality, and therefore we each kind of make our own reality in an already physical world. So our surroundings and environment is the canvas, and we are the paint. So now we have 2 DIFFERENT parties viewing this event in 2 DIFFERENT "realities". Theirs, and yours. So WHAT you say doesn't matter...it's HOW it is said.

Think of flirting as arguing. Do women win arguments based off logic? Nope. Do men win arguements based off logic? Nope. Well then how the **** are you supposed to win?! Winning an argument, which is just a series of events/opinions between 2 parties that perceive the same thing differently isn't as hard as you would think. So how do you win, Dr. Tweeter? By CONVINCING the other person that you are right by making them believe what you believe. It's not WHAT you say, it's HOW you say it. So let's apply this to real life...

So instead of saying WHAT you think you should say, you want that other person to know WHY you are saying what you are saying. So let's turn things around and see it from their point of view. She has a barrage of guys messaging her basically saying the same thing which is the WHAT and not the WHY. All you have is a chance to talk to her and convince her to believe what you believe. Which is...making her believe that she is lucky getting the chance to talk to you. Do not confuse this with being cocky while being confident.

Alright so now you guys are talking back and forth. Again, we have 2 DIFFERENT realities going on here. How you perceive her, and how she perceives you. Your goal is to convince her that the reality being portrayed is yours and not hers. Women thrive on emotions. That's just how it is, and how it will always be. It's simple biology and psychology. So let's backtrack slighty here, and acknowledge the importance of WHY you are saying what you are saying and not WHAT you are saying. Let's break this down a little further so nothing is left to question.

You basically want to sell yourself from the inside out, not outside in. Most guys do the latter. Does it work sometimes? Sure, if you want to be like everyone else she's ever met. So using this method you would say WHAT you do and HOW you are different than everyone else, and of course guys being using logic and not emotion, we expect champagne to fall from the heavens, doves bust out flying everywhere, and everyone lives happily ever after. So you can say, oh well I have a nice house, a great job, I drive a BMW, and we expect women to be attracted to that no questions asked. That's great and all, but what happens when she's not into it, and never tells you why? I have the answer to that question.

You create a reality or perception of WHY you have a great job, WHY you have a great house, WHY you drive a BMW, and WHY you are you. It's not the WHAT you do/have, it's the WHY. And once you know the WHY it doesn't matter WHAT you say, but moreso HOW you say it. You want to inspire them and make your reality her reality. You want to trigger her emotions and make her "feel good" while talking to you. The more you play on her emotions the more they will be attracted to you.

Before she talked to you, your reality didn't exist in her reality. Reality doesn't even really exist if you think about it since everything is so subjective. And THAT is why those stupid lines worked. You created your own reality (even if you didn't believe in it at first and that's ok) which put YOU in control and is exactly WHY they respond. That's it. I feel kind of naked sharing this, but I'll do it for you derps.

So what I like to do is basically play into their little power struggle. Put up a little bit of a fight, but just enough to where she feels in control. Again, playing into her emotions. From there I work in playful jesting and criticism. Not a lot, but just enough to get her to react to it. Oh, hello more emotions. From here they like to regain the power, and this is the most important part. Talk about how awful your other date from whatever service it is went, or something weird/funny from another date you went on. I know it seems counterintuitive, but it basically sweeps the entire rug out from under her on an emotional level. This tells her that you're worthy, desired, and confident. And that is the reality you just created for her from nothing more than thin air and some pixels on a screen. She will see this as a challenge/competition, and taa-daa, you've successfully tapped into her emotions and gotten her full attention and now she is in your reality with you.

And guess what? More good news. It is the EXACT same game in real life except voice inflections and body language come into play which will be a different write-up. So for example:

Q: Why did wteGDF's pizza girl get so crazy horny?

A: Because he played it perfectly, and kept her in HIS reality even though he had no idea that's what he was doing. He played into her little power struggle, but he didn't show his cards and stuck to his guns. She didn't expect him to do this at all, so he held all of the power. Bravo, sir. Bravo.

So this is where practice and trial and error comes into play. It's not so much knowing EXACTLY WHAT to say, but just how to get your point across, tell her WHY she should be talking to you, and create a warm fuzzy reality for her to live in. The more you tap into her emotions positivley the faster she will fall for you.
**************************************************


Guide to First Dates:

Quote:
A few quick tips before the short novel:

1. Be yourself and be honest. Any relationship built on deceit or misinformation will fail. It's just a matter of time.
2. Have an idea of what you want in a person/SO.
3. Make sure the venue does not interfere with your meeting. Make it about the other person and not so much what you're doing (ie coffee, drinks, etc).
4. Don't be late. You only get one shot at a first impression.

This is something that will get better with time and experience. A person's first, first date is usually pretty awkward which is completely normal. Think of it as a pre-date meeting consultation with someone you would like to screen first before spending time with them. Have a list or idea of what you would like in a SO and ask questions about things you ACTUALLY want to know. Mindless small talk is boring and pointless. The conversation should stem from what SHE is saying to your questions, and not so much just firing off question after question at her. Some of these things might be: family relationships, music, movies, hobbies, etc. If you really want to know how boring a girl is off the bat all you need to do is ask what her hobbies are. Seriously.

The best advice I could give is be yourself, and don't be worried if she doesn't like you or not. It's out of your control, so let it go. Another little trick is pretending that this person is someone you've already met. Don't be afraid of physical contact, make corny jokes, poke fun at her (lightly and NOT about her weight), and maybe ask some more personal questions as the date goes on. If you've already gotten this far just be you, since that's the person she met in the first place and wanted to get to know better anyway. Don't try to be someone/something you are not.

Even in this situation we still have the duality of the 2 different realities in the other write-up. You are going to get back what you are giving off. So if you go in acting worried, nervous and quiet you can expect her to do the EXACT same thing. So if you goo in being happy, confident, humble, and most important of all, make her feel comfortable being around you she is going to give you the same feedback. When she looks back on the date she will remember those things the most since they live off of emotion, and it will make her think of you positively and hopefully want to see you agian. If you can go in and do all of these things then there is really no reason she would not want to see you again. The only thing that holds people back is their own self and fears. Shut that part of your brain off and just make it about them, and the rest will come naturally.
**************************************************


Guide to Using Tinder for Idiots:

Quote:
Name:
Don't use a name like "Hammersmith Von Sexor" or "Jefferson Steelflex" on your Facebook since they are linked. I think this goes without saying, but I figured better safe than sorry.


Tagline:
If you feel the need to fill this out make it something cute and/or silly. A lot of girls put their Instagram here, so you could poke fun at that, or put something like, "Avid underwater basket weaver". The more interested a girl is, the more likely she is to comment on this. You basically want to give her reasons to ask you a question or talk to you.


Pictures:
-Picture 1 - Solo picture of you looking good and happy. This is your best picture that is meant to grab their attention.
-Picture 2 - You in a social setting (females present is preferred).
-Picture 3 - Same as the 2nd, but with guys/girls is fine too.
-Picture 4 - 2nd best solo picture. This is so they know for sure who they are messaging.

You basically want to be smiling in ALL of these pictures, and looking happy. The prescence of females will give them the satisfaction that you are deemed worthy of female attention, and they like that. You don't need more than 4 pictures, and you DO NOT need ANY of them to be selfies. If you need to get a friend to take a picture of you do that instead. Selfies from both guys and girls alike scream, "I have no friends and I am really boring so here is a picture I took of myself alone".


Opening lines:

Fun/silly ones:
-"Sup girl"
-"Beautiful smile"
-"If you were a triangle, you'd be acute one"
-"So...are you as innocent as you look?"
-"If I asked you to sleep with me, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?"

Advanced ones:
-"Knock, knock." / "Who's there?" / "Lion." / "Lion who?" / "Lion in bed thinking of you."
-"Are you a koala?" / "<her response>" / "Cause you've got all the right koalafications."
-"You're everything I didn't know I wanted in a girl."
-"I feel like I've had a crush on you for years..."
-"I saw my life flash before my eyes today...for some reason, I thought about you."


Conversations:
Some girls take longer to close than others. The point is to keep the conversation light and fun. No relationship, religion, politics, etc. Once you've got her charmed, laughing and generally happy, tell her that you are tired of using the app, and would rather text/call them and meet up. Tinder is not for social hour, it's an app to get a phone number.

Example convo #1:





Example convo #2:


**************************************************


Texting Guidelines:

Quote:
1. DO NOT follow any "3 day rule". When it comes to texting/asking them out. Do it when it feels right, and hopefully within 24 hours of meeting said person.

2. DO NOT text their number in front of them to make sure they gave you the right number. It's creepy and shows lack of confidence/trust.

3. Treat the conversation as an "in person" one. Send one message at a time (2 is fine if you mistyped something, or forgot to tell her something), and reply to hers whenever it is convenient for you. Again, DO NOT use the 3 day rule. That rule was popular when our parents were dating before cell phones existed. Times have changed.

4. DO NOT be a jackass. Be honest, and upfront about your intentions.

5. DO NOT end your message with "lol", "haha", or "jk". Takes any and all confidence out of your message.

6. If it's past midnight, whatever you're about to send is a horrible idea.

6a. If you are drunk, whatever you're about to send is also a horrible idea. When drinking heavily or under the influence, it's best to just turn your phone off for the night. This way you don't shoot yourself in the foot, and makes them sweat a little bit wondering what you're doing.

7. If she doesn't respond in 2 days or has said "No" twice to hang out. Delete the number and move on. She's over it, and you should be too.

8. Do not say "sorry" or apologize in a text message. If you're really sorry, you can say it in person. It's insincere, and comes off as a major insecurity.
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Last edited by Tweeter; 11-18-2013 at 02:39 PM.
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Old 11-04-2013, 03:39 PM   #2
Tweeter
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Chapter/Region: RMIC
Location: Louisville, CO
Default

Frequently Asked Questions Section:

Quote:

Q: How do I be more confident about being myself and my flaws/insecurities?

A: Well you've got 2 options.

1. Fix it.

2. Become more comfortable with your insecurity/flaw(s), and don't let it control you.

I'm going to go ahead and assume that you've tried to do option 1, and if you've succeeded then there's no need to read further. If you're like the rest of us, then option 2 is your friend. You are going to be you, you can't avoid it or escape it, so embrace it. We all see people who are happier than you, more comfortable, more confident, and seem to "have it together", and we wonder how they do it so well. It's not because they have less problems or less severe problems, it's just because they have a better mindset. They are more comfortable with their problem and have a mindset that allows them to be happy regardless of it.

The best advice I can give is to be comfortable with your insecurity/flaw(s), and own it. You are not uniquely problematic. We all have things we struggle with. If you can recognize your flaws and wear them proudly, then there is nothing anyone can do to hurt you with them. You can't be embarassed by something that you acknowledge and control, instead of letting it control you. It's not easy, but once you have accepted yourself and your flaws and quit trying to change or fix yourself, you'll be a lot happier with yourself. he ones who accept their problems, control it, and don't let it determine the outcome of their lives. They are the ones who "have it all together".



Q: How can I be better at conversing with dates?

A: Experience, mindset, confidence, and a general game plan.

There's really no exact play-by-play, and most people are naturally not very good daters at first. Usually they are way to nervous, think too much, don't know what to say, etc. This all comes with experience. The key is to recognize and learn from your failures, and understand why it failed. These will be your most useful tools.

Having the right mindset will allow you to apply these tools you have acquired over time. If you can be comfortable with yourself and the situation, be confident, and keep things light and fun then there's nothing to worry about, and the conversation will flow naturally. If you can do this, you're going to make the person your with feel comfortable around you which allows them to open up even more. It's about creating an atmosphere she wants to be in with you. If you talk to her like you've known her for years, she will hold less back and get to know you better and faster.

A small game plan going into the date would be having a list of things you want to know about the other person or things you'd like to talk about that might be dealbreakers or what have you. Ask her about sports, her future, career, pets, siblings, music taste, etc. Things that would actually matter in a relationship. Small talk is predicitive and boring.


Q: How can I escalate things physically?

A: If you follow the general guidelines to the answer above, it should come naturally. If you've done all of those things then the next step is to physically touch her, and not be creepy about it. Touch her watch, and ask where she got it, or take a closer look at her earrings. She's going to mirror her reaction by how you do this. If you do it like a creep, she's going to be weirded out. If you do it like it's no big deal, she won't think twice about it being weird. Doing this confidentally and comfortably will increase her receptiveness to you. Don't be afraid. She agreed to go on a date with you and therefore is entertaining the idea of being in a relationship with you. It's not weird to touch her, so don't be afraid or awkward when doing so.


Q: I'm a nice guy, but can't get a date. Girls go for douchebags, so I'm going to be a douchebag too.

A: This is a classic. So there are 3 main phases a guy goes through:

1. Your parents/mom raised you well and taught you to open every door, pull out every chair, be open about your feelings, always tell girls the truth, and do whatever you can to make her happy.

2. You do all these things, and get hurt. Multiple times most likely. You then become disgusted by the opposite sex (or same in some cases). They're all liars, cheaters, and sluts who don't deserve your courtesy. You enjoy being mean, getting what you want, being selfish, and then realizing that these girls you once hated are all horrible people and not all of them are like this.

3. During this stage you become more mature and more confident about yourself. You then realize you can be both. The reason being a douchebag works, is because douchebags APPEAR to be always 110% confident in what they do. Girls are usually in awe of this because they can say/do whatever they want without any regard. Don't be that guy. A confident guy can still do the exact same thing, without being a douchebag. Instead say/do things that you truly believe in, and not just what she wants to hear so you can get laid. This way you are staying true to yourself, your beliefs, and how you were raised. Give the good girls the respect they deserve, and give girls that disrespect you the boot. Don't be afraid to be honest, but don't be an ******* or be afraid hide your feelings. Hiding is weakness, and learning to let go of those who bring you down or disrespect you is strength.

Last edited by Tweeter; 11-18-2013 at 02:38 PM.
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Old 11-04-2013, 05:35 PM   #3
subaru3169
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ahh

here we go
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Old 11-04-2013, 05:35 PM   #4
That guy in Maine
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Where do you find all these feel pictures
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Old 11-04-2013, 05:35 PM   #5
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Tweets,

I miss your scent.

I miss your musk... When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together!
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Old 11-04-2013, 05:37 PM   #6
Tweeter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by That guy in Maine View Post
Where do you find all these feel pictures
The internet, mostly.


Quote:
Originally Posted by psg View Post
Tweets,

I miss your scent.

I miss your musk... When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together!
Why don't you just sit the next few plays out, Champ.
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Old 11-04-2013, 05:39 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tweeter View Post
The internet, mostly.


huh, I'm intrigued. Please tell me more of this mysterious thing
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Old 11-04-2013, 05:39 PM   #8
orndog
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I have to post so that over the next 10k posts I can check in randomly.
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Old 11-04-2013, 05:42 PM   #9
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Will tweeter get fed up with know it all trolls who don't know **** and forsake this thread?

Will Draco ever get his **** together and be honest with us?

Will chester stop drunk texting his male coworkers?

Will Swizz broaden his horizons and get rid of his yellow plague?


Tune in and find out in this, part 2, of the TFWNGF thread
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Old 11-04-2013, 05:43 PM   #10
motorpotor
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What is this place?
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Old 11-04-2013, 05:44 PM   #11
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Message sent...now we wait
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Old 11-04-2013, 05:44 PM   #12
Protege Menace
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That last thread moved too fast to keep up on all the drama :x
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Old 11-04-2013, 05:45 PM   #13
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This thread title...


I'm so glad Draco is a good sport.
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Old 11-04-2013, 05:45 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by motorpotor View Post
What is this place?
The no girlfriend thread went off for Carousel.
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Old 11-04-2013, 05:46 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Protege Menace View Post
That last thread moved too fast to keep up on all the drama :x
Open thread, ctrl+F: draco.


Quote:
Originally Posted by GMU-BRZ View Post
This thread title...


I'm so glad Draco is a good sport.
Very much this.
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Old 11-04-2013, 05:50 PM   #16
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Old 11-04-2013, 05:51 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wteGDF View Post
Message sent...now we wait
Response...

H: Love the visual :0)
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Old 11-04-2013, 05:53 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zarno View Post
The no girlfriend thread went off for Carousel.
Logan's Run reference? Excellent!


Quote:
Life clocks are a lie! Carousel is a lie! THERE IS NO RENEWAL!
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Old 11-04-2013, 05:55 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Protege Menace View Post
That last thread moved too fast to keep up on all the drama :x
I feel the same way about the derp thread. You post one repeat and everyone starts yelling. **** that, I'm outta here.
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Old 11-04-2013, 05:56 PM   #20
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I snorted pretty loud when I read the thread title!!
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Old 11-04-2013, 05:57 PM   #21
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Can we petition for a Chester-free thread?
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Old 11-04-2013, 05:59 PM   #22
thebanker
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tweeter View Post
The doctor is [in] out.
Lets not let this little gem get lost, doctor!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tweeter
I got my ass slapped 10 times, my junk groped twice, and drag queens feeling my arms in the first 5 minutes. It was literally dick and man ass wherever you looked with some aggressive making out going on.
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Old 11-04-2013, 06:02 PM   #23
plzhelpmegrow
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Originally Posted by Protege Menace View Post
That last thread moved too fast to keep up on all the drama :x
True that. I was informed that I was missing out on some good **** that past few weeks... twtrs vietnamese chick, chris is dating 2 chicks, idk know anything about draco :le sigh:
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Old 11-04-2013, 06:04 PM   #24
Protege Menace
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Can we get cliffs from the last 3 weeks? (minus draco stuff)
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Old 11-04-2013, 06:05 PM   #25
FightingFalcon
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Originally Posted by Swizz_dub View Post
Will tweeter get fed up with know it all trolls who don't know **** and forsake this thread? Will Draco ever get his **** together and be honest with us? Will chester stop drunk texting his male coworkers? Will Swizz broaden his horizons and get rid of his yellow plague? Tune in and find out in this, part 2, of the TFWNGF thread
Let's start things off right here.

Bro, can I pee in your butt?

somewhat srs
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